


Guilt and Trepidations

by Comfybunny



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Female Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Gen, Guilt, Injury Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:00:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26283037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Comfybunny/pseuds/Comfybunny
Summary: The Warrior of Light (Kyrie) attempts to recover within the Rising Stones after an exploratory visit to some Allagan Ruins goes awry. She gets a few visits from her fellow Scions, and everyone tries to deal with their own guilt over the situation.(Not Complete)
Kudos: 6





	Guilt and Trepidations

**Author's Note:**

> So a few things-
> 
> 1\. This is an extremely rough draft, just exploring a concept I had. I wrote it in-between leveling up my trusts. I'm sure there are more than a few grammatical and spelling errors throughout.
> 
> 2\. Takes place after 5.3.
> 
> 3\. Definitely a work in progress. I don't know if I'm gonna finish it, but I had an idea of every Scion having their own section of visiting the WoL. 
> 
> 4\. This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction for anything. I started playing ff14 a couple months ago and just fell in love with the characters.
> 
> Thanks for reading! ^^

As the sun's light spilled through a crack in the curtains, Kyrie's eyes peered out from above her book. The famed Warrior of Light; savior of Eorzea and beyond, sat beneath her blankets wearing thin sleeping wear. Her repeated attempts to enjoy a fictional novel about a hero proving fruitless. It was recommended to her by a friend, but she struggled to relax her mind enough to enjoy herself. She sighed and closed the tome, placing it on the nightstand beside her. As she leaned to the side, the constant pain flared into a more aggressive presence, and she gasped, slowly returning to her previous position.

A lot had happened in the last week, as her thoughts raced through her recollections. After everything that happened in the First, she was overwhelmed with happiness to have her friends back in the Source. Alas, nothing stays still for long around the Scions, as rumors of a hidden Alleg facility found their way to Rising Stones. G'raha in particular was raring to explore the place. No matter how hard they tried to put his qualms to ease, he wanted to prove himself to them, and an extension of Alleg was a perfect place to show his worth.  
Alphinaud and Alisaie couldn't say no to Kyrie when she asked if they wanted to tag along with her and G'raha to verify if this place existed. It took some digging, but their previous experiences with the long lost civilization served them well as they found their way within this unnamed mechanical marvel. With their guards up, they progressed deeper into the belly of the beast. Alas, most of the trip proved uneventful. A lot of the security procedures she had come to expect from Alleg institutions were either disabled or broken. Luckily, a few teleport pads were still functional, and allowed them to journey deeper and deeper into the construct.  
Finally, they came across a wide room with high ceilings that was lined with cylindrical tanks. Various shadows of dormant creatures gently floated within their containers. Giant tubes fed their way from the smaller tanks into the giant container located at the end of the room.  
“What is this place?” Kyrie mumbled, reminded of a very similar room within the Coil's of Bahamut where his children were nothing more than imprisoned energy sources for the primal.  
G'raha didn't have an answer. He just moved wordlessly from tank to tank, wiping the dust with his hands and trying to identify what was inside. Alisaie took his cue, and begun to slowly inspect the rest of the room, searching for any sort of clue as to its purpose. Kyrie heard Alphinaud sigh, and she turned to face him.  
Normally this would be the point in which she would say a few words in jest, maybe regarding his fears of ghosts, but being unnerved in this place was quite understandable and justified. The very aether in the air seemed still. She instead gave him an encouraging smile and walked forward to get a closer look at the huge tank at the end of the room.  
It dwarfed everything next to it, and was the sole reason why the walls stretched so high. Her hand wiped the caked dust across the glass-like surface. Something large sat in this vat, it's edges scarcely defined by the darkness' form. Its shape moved slowly up and down within the container's liquid. Her curiosity was not sated by any of her efforts. She sighed, and turned to see if the others have found anything of consequence.  
It was at that moment that a deep voice rung out, vibrating the very walls that encased them. It's sound seemed to etch its meaning upon their minds, carving the words deliberately and painfully. **“Your arrival deemed your lives forfeit.”** A great mixture of ancient mechanical weapons and voidsent spilled into the room. A boisterous laugh continued to shake the structure as the Scions held their aching, pounding heads.  
“We have to get out, NOW!” Alisaie yelled, doing her best to be heard over the sudden excess of noise.  
Kyrie grimaced, then nodded, and started to make a path through the endless stream of opponents. It was enough work just to stand against the draining mental assault, let alone combat an army. The others followed her, supporting her efforts of retreat. Eventually their efforts bore fruit, causing an opening. Following G'raha's scream of “THERE!”, they pushed themselves through.  
**“You will die.”** The words imprinted themselves within, unable to shy away from the overwhelming power of the owner's telepathy. They were making their escape, the end was visible. They were so close and then she looked back and saw-

Knocking at the door roused Kyrie from her memories and she shook her head slightly. All of her effort was focused into producing an even tone, as to not betray her current state of pain. “Come in.” A lalafell carrying a tray of various breads and fruits, along with a pot of tea, made her way into the room. She reached on her tippy toes to set it on top of the nightstand as she got a good look at Kyrie. “Tataru, I could have-”  
She folded her arms. “Oh could you now? I've heard those noises you make when you even think about moving.” Bashfully, Kyrie looked away. She was hiding this burden worse than she thought. “Even the great and mighty Warrior of Light needs some rest now and again.” Tataru stated, as she waved her fingers authoritatively.  
“Yes Ma'am.” She replied, nodding her head.  
“Good. Now eat your breakfast.” Tataru refused to move an ilm until she saw Kyrie munch on some toast, and took a sip of tea. “Do you need anything? New books perhaps? A bath?”  
Kyrie shook her head. “Thank you Tataru, but I'm fine.” She smiled as if to prove the point, but the lalafell was unconvinced.  
“Well, let me know if you need something! I'll let you get some rest.” She waved and exited the room, as Kyrie let her body sink downward into a puddle of ache.

Alphinaud was pacing back and forth within the lobby of the Rising Stones, carrying a bouquet of flowers, along with a card. Every jittery movement betrayed the amount of stress he was feeling. It was his fault she-  
Tataru closed the door behind her, her eyes finding the young Elezen. “Oh Alphinaud, I thought you and the others still had your hands full. Last I heard, the empire were posed to investigate those ruins-”  
Alphinaud didn't realize she was talking to him until she finished, and looked expectantly at him. “Yes! Yes indeed. The others have it in well enough control for the moment. And I thought I could make time to see... to see how she fared. H-how is she, pray tell?”  
Tataru looked at his face for a moment, and sighed, letting her neck drop. “She's awake, at least. She tries to hide it when I'm with her, but she can barely move without eliciting some sort of painful reaction. I've never seen her this... vulnerable.”  
Alphinaud's guilt twisted his heart as his grip upon the gifts stiffened. He looked away, trying to regain his composure.  
Tataru shook her head quickly and bounced back up. “But- that isn't to say it's- We've had more than a few healers say she can make a full recovery. Krile herself has given her fair share of examinations. It's just gonna take some time.”  
Alphinaud sighed, and put on a brave face. “May I see her?”  
Tataru nodded, smiled, and added “You know Oldroses are her favorite, she's gonna love those.”

A few light knocks graced the door as Kyrie exhaled loudly, working up the energy to sit upright. “Yes?” She called, as the door slowly opened.  
“Alphinaud!” She bounced and clapped her hands together, letting her excitement win out over the pain her body responded with. “I thought you were busy with the rest of-” She trailed off distracted as she eyed the items in his hands, and inquired with a smile, “Aww, are those for me?”  
“Well, yes. Of course!” He walked next to her bed, and handed them over. He forced his guilt aside as he tried to match her smile.  
“Oldroses! You shouldn't have.” She smelled the flowers, and sighed contently. “I think there's an empty vase in the corner of the room, if you'd be so kind.” She said, handing them back to Alphinaud. “And what could this be?” She worked open the envelope with her fingers, revealing a bright and colorful card with “GET WELL!” written across the front. It was adorned with hand-drawn carbuncles, and the inside included brief messages and signatures from the Scions. Her grin got bigger as she read their words. Urianger took up half the card, forcing the rest to fight for space on the opposite side.  
Alphinaud coughed, and softly spoke as he found a home for the oldroses. “We're all missing you, and you never leave our thoughts.” He paused for a moment, and tilted his head. “Also Alisaie specifically asked me to tell you that they have everything under control, so your only job is to get better.”  
Kyrie couldn't help but giggle, causing a slight wince. That sure sounded like Alisaie. Moments passed; the strand of silence between them grew, outstaying it's welcome. Ever since she joined the Scions, ever since they met, she felt protective of the boy. He had such big shoes to fill; and bigger dreams for the world as a whole. She admired his perseverance, his morality, his tenacity. They were the closest of friends, and she wouldn't have it any other way. They've been through so much together. She could tell something was distracting him; something weighing on his mind. “Alphinaud.” She softly started, her eyes betraying a hint of mist, a flood of their shared experiences running through her mind. “I'm very glad you're safe my friend. And if I had to do it again, I wouldn't have done it any other way.” A few tears broke free, starting their journey down Kyrie's face.  
Alphinaud covered his face with his hands, taking a few steadying breaths. He sat on the foot of the bed, moving one of his hands to clasp hers, a soft squeeze soon following. “You sacrifice so much for us... Nay, for everyone. Pray know it does not go unnoticed. Words don't suffice... but being by your side will always renew my vigor... along with my hope for this world.”  
Kyrie gently brushed the moisture from her cheeks.“You're such a sweetheart.” She took a brief pause to regain a bit of composure. “I really do appreciate the visit. But you know...” She looked away thoughtfully. “It wouldn't be complete without a certain cutie to dote on.”  
Taken off guard, Alphinaud froze for a moment, then broke into laughter. He grabbed the tome hanging from his side and summoned his Moonstone Carbuncle. Kyrie couldn't help but beam as she snuggled and nuzzled the fluffy fox-like creature as much energy as her body would allow.  
They talked for awhile, until Kyrie's eyelids started to fall. Considering she wasn't able to drift off to sleep the night previous, it wasn't surprising her exhausted body and mind started to crumple. Alphinaud noticed her body language and quickly sat up from the bed. “I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome. I'll leave you to sleep in peace.” He stated, making for the exit.  
“Shh... Alph-in...” Kyrie sleepily mumbled, her head tilting downward and eventually meeting a pillow.  
“Rest well, Warrior of Light.” He whispered, before leaving the room and softly closing the door. He walked back out to the lobby, and sat down at a random table with his hands in his face.

_A few weeks later_

Alisaie carried her head high as she opened the door to the Rising Stones. Rapier swaying to and fro as she took determined strides forward. “Tataru, are you in?”  
Upon hearing her name, Tataru poked her head out from under the bar. “Ah, Alisaie!” She made her way around to give a quick hug. “How are you? How is it progressing?”  
“I'm a little tired, but no worse for wear. We're kept pretty busy down there. The nations spared what they could, but most of the defense work falls to us. Whatever happens, we can't let the Empire can't get control of whatever is inside there. Luckily for us, it seems whatever is locked within the structure is bound to it. So we don't have to worry about it escaping and causing havoc...” Alisaie paused as she looked at the floor. “How is Kyrie? May I see her?”  
“She's... she's trying to keep her spirits up. You know how she is, thinking it falls to her and her alone to solve the world's problems.”  
Alisaie sighed, her composition faltering a tiny bit. After all, it was her fault that Kyrie was... She shook her head, trying to get keep those thoughts away. She gave Tataru a halfhearted wave as she made her way to Kyrie.

A couple loud thunks sounded against the door, as Kyrie looked up from a letter she was reading. She took a shallow breath before responding, “Pray come in!” The young Elezen girl poked her head in, and greeted with a wave. “Alisaie! It's so nice to see you!”  
“I thought you might need some company.” Alisaie smiled, as she grabbed a chair and pushed it next to the bed, before harshly leaping onto it. Taking a quick peek at Kyrie, she saw a pale shadow of her friend. Dark circles lay under her eyes, as she looked thin and worn. She took a peek around the room, and saw a great many cards, gifts, stuffed animals, and various kinds of baskets were laying around, some of them proudly displaying national colors. “With all the fruit and sweets you have here you could start up your own market.” She mused, before taking a chocolate piece from a nearby basket.  
“They just won't stop coming!” Kyrie slowly folded her arms in protest. “It seems like all the nations of the Eorzean Alliance are trying to outdo each other. I swear it's eventually going to lead to one of them gifting me a house.” Alisaie snorted before grabbing another chocolate. “At least it gives a reason for the kids of Revenant's Toll to visit. Kids like sweets.” She winked at Alisaie with a sly grin.  
Alisaie looked at Kyrie with her mouth full of chocolate, and swallowed abruptly. Her face contorted into a guilty pout.  
“I'm just teasing Alisaie. Pray forgive me.”  
“Oh I'm gonna get you back for that. Just you wait.”  
Kyrie giggled, causing her eyes to go wide for a moment before she clutched her side in pain. She took a few deep stabilizing breaths before continuing on. “I appreciate you coming to visit me Alisaie. I just wish I wasn't... I mean, I've taken blows from Primals, from Ascians, from Lightwardens, and I've always recovered. But this... I'm- I'm-” Her voice started to shake, in spite of her wishes. Guilt and shame would be denied no longer as tears begun to stream unhindered down her face. Every emotion she fought to repress broke it's way to the surface. Her fears exposed; the mask of the Warrior of Light lay broken. “What if I can't get better? How can I do what's needed? How can I fail the people who are counting on me?”  
Alisaie was not prepared for this explosion of emotion. But she saw her friend in pain, and stood up. “That's not, you're not...” She sputtered, trying to say something of value. As she moved closer to Kyrie, the Warrior of Light shook her head violently. Her fear was laid bare. T'was not any fight she was scared of, t'was falling short of expectations.  
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for failing you-” Kyrie's hysterical soaked face looking into the young Leveilleur's eyes. Swiftly Alisaie gently placed a hand behind Kyrie's head, and pushed it into her chest, holding her still against her breast. The Warrior of Light continued to cry uninhibited for some time. Alisaie was silent, holding her firm as she gathered her thoughts while fighting the urge to submit to her own tears. Eventually Kyrie's volume died down, her breaths shallow and ragged. Alisaie leaned close into her ear.  
“You have never failed any of us.” She whispered, gently stroking the back of Kyrie's head. Slowly, the emotionally drained Warrior of Light nodded off. Alisaie noticed her breathing becoming regular, and softly placed her head on the pillow. She sat back down in her chair, and offered no defense to her own tears. They journeyed their way across her face, dropping into her lap. She didn't know how much time passed as she sat there, watching her sleeping face, thinking of what she could have done different to prevent this.


End file.
